


come back to me

by FlashThroughLight, prindoesart



Series: Stay [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anniversary, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Failed Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 08:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19720411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlashThroughLight/pseuds/FlashThroughLight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/prindoesart/pseuds/prindoesart
Summary: Nines returns to Connor-- a year later.





	come back to me

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of a series. If you have not yet read the first one, I highly recommend you do so, as some things may not make sense to you if you haven't.
> 
> This is for New ERA's birthday big bang! One of the themes was anniversary and my mind went straight back to this verse and it wouldn't let me go. Prin did the amazing art and I love it to pieces.

They were seated in the small communal area. However, it could hardly be called comfortable. There had been a litany of criticisms about the space that ranged from the size, to the comfort of the furniture, to the old-fashioned hardware, and many other things.

Nines learned very quickly that while the platoon was eager to be sent out, they were less than enthusiastic about their accommodations. The space, amount of lighting, and ambient temperature meant nothing to Nines. They were all able to fit in the building and they were protected from the elements. Surely, one would think that to be sufficient.

And yet, when they were out in the field, the humans would lament how they wished to return to base.

Humans were contrary. Perhaps even more so than deviants.

Granted, Nines had only ever been in close proximity with one deviant.

He was exposed to his own platoon for extended amounts of time. Those short periods in which they met up with another platoon didn't count. Even then, he generally worked with other RK900s or the more recently upgraded SQ units.

There was never much talk between them unless it pertained directly to their objective.

His platoon had started speaking to him more, particularly since he become more open to replying to them. He'd never noticed the distance between them until he was prompted to join in on conversations.

Likewise, Nines wasn't aware of how much he'd gotten used to speaking until the platoon left their last post and thus, he left the only entity that spoke to him as if he were a being and not a machine.

It hadn't taken them long to adopt Nines as his assigned name. Not after their commanding officer, Lieutenant Paulson, had suggested the name be used when the platoon encountered more RK900 units after they were sent out to their new station.

The name that Nines had offered up.

The name that had been given to him.

Amongst other platoons he was simply known as RK900 # 313 248 317 - 87, but amongst his own, he was Nines. It was treated as a nickname. Perhaps even a pet name. They still thought of him as just another military android, but he certainly didn't feel like it.

At first, he had accepted his choice. The one he'd made to remain true to what he had been designed and programmed for. But his mind trailed every so often in times when the platoon was idle. When Nines went into stasis - often only partially - and felt the difference between his connection to CyberLife's main servers from before and the mere auxiliary system he was connected to now.

But time goes on.

Things change.

"How many more days until we get pulled outta here?" Sergeant Jansen asked as she picked up a card from the stack.

Specialist Hoult rocked back in his chair, looked at the calendar that Private Pendleton had hung crookedly on the wall by the fridge. "Eleven days."

"Too long," Jansen grumbled. "It's been dark out for almost a month now. I hate it."

Pendleton looked up from his book. "You hated it when the sun was out all the time."

"I hate this even more." She tossed down a card on the table, not caring that it didn't align properly with the rest of the spades of her and Hoult's dual solitaire game.

He reached out and aligned it for her. "We'll be on leave for a while. Get used to a proper day and night cycle again."

A few more hands were played between Hoult and Jansen before she spoke up again. This time she looked over her shoulder at Nines, who was sitting in a chair the platoon had dubbed his to ‘sit in during downtime so he didn't loom over them’.

"Any idea what you'll be up to, Nines?" Jansen asked.

Nines considered the question. Currently, his orders were to remain with Lieutenant Paulson's platoon and return with them when they were extracted. Further information as to what he would be doing after this had not yet been divulged to him: perhaps hadn't even been decided yet. There was no way for Nines to know. He wouldn't be debriefed on his new objective until they returned to their original post and he was reconnected to the CyberLife main servers.

"I am uncertain, Sergeant Jansen. It is likely that I will be reassigned to another platoon or that I will be placed in stasis until this platoon has returned from leave and will redeploy," Nines said.

"That'd be a damn shame," Hoult said.

Pendleton set his book down for this conversation. Actually sat up on the couch. "You're just saying that because you're the one that fixes Nines up when he's reckless."

"The RK900 is a good model. Robust, powerful, versatile-"

"It's still an android, Lukas," Pendleton said, pointedly. "You forget what happened?"

"That was two years ago, _Matt_." Hoult put emphasis on Pendleton's name with a low hiss. "There haven't been any deviant incidents since then. Plus, Nines has been with us for a year and a half. First training, then stationed here with us. It hasn't caused any problems."

The two started bickering with one another. Hoult even going so far as to stand up and walk over to where Pendleton was sitting. There were many hissed out words and avid gesticulation.

Jansen let out a sigh as she watched them. She tossed her cards, face down, on the table and got up. Walked by Nines to go to the refrigerator.

"Deployed a year and they still haven't stopped bickering about it."

A year.

Nearly a year had gone by since they were deployed to this region of the arctic.

A year since Nines last had a full CyberLife connection.

A year since Connor.

Since Nines had left Connor in the Zen Garden program.

Since Connor had shouted out to him in desperation.

_“Nines! Don’t go! Don’t leave me here alone, please! Nines!”_

Connor would still be present in the Zen Garden when Nines returned. The main question was what state he would be in. The second question was whether or not Nines would activate the program once he was able to.

\---

Their final days were uneventful. No disturbances were reported nearby and, besides their general patrol and surveillance of the area, they ran no operations.

Before long, every member of the platoon was packed and ready to go. Most, if not all of them, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their replacements and the transport that would take them back to the base by the border before they were brought back to the United States.

Nines remained at the back, idly watching the replacements filter in and his own platoon gather their belongings and hurry out into the darkness to get into the transport.

Lieutenant Paulson stayed behind and spoke with the replacement commanding officer before he turned to Nines.

"Nines, transfer all the information you have to the RK900."

"You gave yours a name?"

Nines tuned out their conversation and stepped forward, reaching out to take the hand of the other RK900 unit. They connected and Nines sent the information over as requested. When he pulled his hand away, he glanced down at it and stretched his fingers. While they had touched, there had been no sensation. RK900 units weren't outfitted with any touch receptors, so there would never be a way for him to feel anything. Not with another RK900, that is.

He pushed the thought aside, holding his hand behind him as he settled into parade rest, much like his counterpart.

Lieutenant Paulson spoke with his replacement for a few minutes longer before he called for Nines to follow him.

They stepped out into the dark November day and followed the light of the transport to find their way over. It only took a few minutes more before the final checks were finished and they were en route to the border base, from which they would be sent back home.

Nines sat in the rear of the transport amongst the baggage of his platoon. The soldiers vitals were all elevated as the trip went on. Perhaps looking forward to returning home or anxious. From this far back, Nines wasn't able to deduce their individual reactions.

None of them showed any inclination of interacting with him, so he went into stasis.

It was only when the transport came to a halt many hours later that Nines awakened again.

The shuffle into the border base was quick. The platoon was led off to their temporary accommodations while they awaited the flight to the United States.

Nines was guided to a different part of the building; down narrow halls deeper towards the centre, away from any human communal areas.

The android guided him into a room with standing stations. A few were occupied by other androids, mainly RK900s and the upgraded SQ units. All were in stasis. Likely awaiting their next destination, much like Nines was.

He turned to the android and made a note that she was a model he had not encountered before. Likely one of the newer models released by CyberLife in the aftermath of the deviant uprising.

"Will I be able to reconnect with CyberLife's main servers in this location?"

"Unfortunately not," she replied. "The last storm knocked out the wireless connection."

Nines should've been done after that. Accepted the answer that she had given him and gone to an empty station.

However, he found his thoughts lingering and he looked down at his hand, much like he'd done many hours ago. "Would there be a way to make a direct connection?"

She looked up at him, brown eyes unblinking and a small upward curve to her lips. "Only if you were to connect directly to the CyberLife mainframe."

"And where is that?" Nines asked. Questioning again. Going further. He shouldn't. He knew that.

This time, the answer was delayed. The LED at her temple flickered yellow for a moment before she replied. "It is in the northern sector of the building, located near the base's electrical framework."

This time, Nines kept his mouth shut. He did not say farewell to the other android, simply stepped away from her and into a station. Would anything come of his questioning? Clearly she had needed to go through some sort of protocol to provide Nines with an answer. Now he couldn't help but wonder if his inquiry would be reported to security.

Yet, there was no logic in wondering.

_"Wondering is to be curious about something."_

And Nines could not wonder, as a machine.

\---

He roused from his stasis, rather inexplicably. Nines had not set a timer for his awakening, merely relied on either the female android or Lieutenant Paulson to come get him. As he checked the time, Nines found that twenty-seven hours had elapsed. Longer than he had expected. However, it was likely that the flight taking them to the United States was delayed. There would be no further need for him until such a time that they were ready to depart.

So, why then, did he find himself awake?

After a moment, Nines stepped forward. A quick glance around the room told him that nothing had changed since he entered. The same androids remained in place.

It would be simple to take a few steps back and return to the station he had settled in to, but Nines felt like it would be difficult to return to stasis. While the direct reason for his awakening was not known to him, now that he was here, his mind went to the CyberLife mainframe.

If there had been a need for him to connect upon arrival, he would have been taken there. As that had not occurred, Nines could only deduce that his debriefing would take place once he returned to a CyberLife facility in the United States.

Without much thought, he left the room and turned down the hall that took him to the northern sector. Nines didn't encounter anyone - human or android - as he tracked the electrical system through the corridors and eventually came to a stop in front of a locked door.

Nines reached out, placed his hand on the palm pad. When it was about to signal a refusal of entry, he pushed forward his will that he wanted to be let in. Almost immediately the palm pad flashed green and the door opened.

He stepped inside, pausing to take in the room as the door slid shut.

There were several mainframes housed in this electrical room. However, there was only one with the CyberLife logo.

Nines stepped forward and placed a hand on the outer shell of the machine. It hummed under his palm. Slight electrical currents passing into his arm. Perhaps it would tingle if he could feel the sensation.

Except there was no possibility that he would ever be able to feel it.

Not on his own, at least.

Reporting to CyberLife could wait a little while longer.

Nines slowly removed his hand from the machine. The gentle electrical hum ceased. He stood next to it, thinking about how this was a location that he wasn't supposed to be in. The lock on the palm pad was indicative enough of his access in this facility.

And yet, here he was.

Nines returned his gaze to his hand, stretched it out, then curled his fingers in one by one. An appendage created with high tensile strength, meant to break and destroy. Yet, he cannot stop thinking about what it would be like to _feel_.

Again.

Because he had felt before.

Only once. But it was enough to leave an impression on him.

He reached out again, the nanofluid skin peeling back before he even touched the machine.

Closed his eyes.

Then reopened them in a frozen landscape.

The last time he was here, the wind had been blowing and snow had begun to blanket the lush greenery.

Now there was no colour present. Just the harsh, white snow and ice covered landscape. Ice encapsulated the nearest tree, now standing as a frozen monolith. Others have fallen over, half buried under a thick layer of snow.

The snow was so deep that it came up to well above his ankles, close to mid-calf. The pathways were non-distinguishable, but he could still see the structures that would've been in the centre of it all. The bridge and the large, palm-like statue.

That was where he was going to start. The trek there wasn't far, but it took longer than usual. While Nines couldn't feel the temperature, he experienced the effect that the cold had on his body. So cold that his limbs almost felt heavy. It didn't matter that he was a construction in the software. His surroundings were a detriment to his body.

When he reached the centre, standing underneath the metal palm, Nines took further stock of the frozen wasteland around him. There was no sign of life. No disturbances in the snow. No divots that indicated that something had gone through it.

Nothing had been functioning here for a long time.

While the cold affected his body, Nines was certain that it would not trigger a complete shutdown. Inhospitable as the landscape may be, he would remain functional.

Connor would remain functional as well.

He had to.

"Connor?" Nines called out.

No response besides the loud howl of the wind.

"Connor!" Nines called out again, louder this time, lest he hadn't been heard.

There couldn't be many places to remain hidden. The terrain didn't allow for it.

Nines thought of the times when Connor would perch on a bench or a tree and crossed the second bridge. From up close, the trees looked as though they were brittle. Even though the ice was encrusted so thick that it appeared as if it completely surrounded every part of the tree, Nines couldn’t help but think that they would snap easily under pressure.

Not strong enough to hold the weight of an android then. Not for climbing or an extended amount of time.

He decided to circle the path.

The walk was laborious. The combination of the cold and the depth of the snow severely restricted his movement. Still, he wouldn’t allow that to stop him.

“Connor!” Nines called out once more. Kept repeating it every couple of feet, pitching his voice to be carried over the wind rather than be carried away by it.

The software wouldn’t be able to terminate Connor. Nines was certain of it. If he hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have left Connor the way that he was. Inhospitable as the terrain currently was, it shouldn’t be fatal. Slowing, yes, but not fatal.

Seeing the state of the Zen Garden made Nines think of how long the terrain had been transformed into what it was right now. When he’d left, there had only been a snowstorm. And he knew that the weather depended on the locality that Nines was in. However, as he had not been connected to a direct CyberLife link in almost a year, perhaps the weather he had last been in had persisted. Remained long enough to render everything into the frozen waste that he saw before him.

“Connor! Connor, where are you?” Nines kept trying. He would’ve known if Connor was no longer functional. Surely there would’ve been an alert if anything had happened.

A notification that he’d extinguished Connor - no matter if it was unintentional or not.

He continued on for an indeterminate amount of time. There was no such thing in the Zen Garden. Time back in the physical world moved much slower than it did here. There was no way to tell. And Nines didn’t dare leave. Not until he found Connor.

Or a trace of him.

Even that would be enough.

Simply having that knowledge that he was still present, even if Connor was not... thriving.

Nines had nearly reached the full circle of the garden and still no sign. Connor had hidden well, he kept telling himself.

He cupped his hands around his mouth, a motion he had seen humans do to direct their voices. “Connor!” Spun in place and repeated it over and over.

At first, no response. Then a faint irregularity on the wind. A whisper that caressed the back of his neck. Nines turned in the direction and looked around. If he were out on the tundra, perhaps he would’ve dismissed the sound as an animal, or a soldier treading through undergrowth. But not here. Where the sound was constant and there was no outside force. Any variability came from within.

Nines moved as quickly as he could. Off between the trees and rocks.

“Connor,” he said again.

Another soft tremor on the wind.

He adjusted his course.

There in front of him, a bush. Just as frozen as the rest of the plant life surrounding it. The faintest shudder went through its branches that wasn’t aligned with the movement caused by the wind. A few tips, encrusted, like all else, with ice, snapped off, resting in the snow amongst several others. Many that had been half covered by the snow constantly being pushed around by the wind.

Out of place.

Far enough away that he wouldn’t have seen it without coming close.

Nines stepped in closer, pushing the branches aside, paying little attention to the way they snapped off. How the barrier became nothing under his hands. Breaking. Destroying.

Then, within the bush, his fingers brushed against something more substantial. He knelt down to get a better look. The first thing he saw was a dark coloured bundle. Separate from the dark shadows cast within. Curled up tightly. A near imperceptible shudder going through it. The next thing Nines saw was a rose, several of them, in fact. Scattered on the ground. Their petals frostbitten and chipped. Strewn in the underbrush. Most still frozen as if they were in bloom.

_“I’d destroy them if I could.”_

“Connor,” Nines repeated again. Soft. Gentle.

This time, the shuddering stopped. The dark bundle as frozen as the surrounding landscape. A soft sound. A resulting shift. The bundle gave way to hair, clumped together, then a pale complexion, and a single brown eye.

Glazed over. For a moment unseeing. Just gazing out ahead.

Nines thought Connor was looking past him before he realized that the blur in his eyes was due to ice. The fluid surrounding the biocomponents had frozen solid. Chunks of it were stuck to Connor’s face. Prominent on his left side, likely buffeted even in his makeshift shelter. A rosebush would not stop the cold or the wind.

He reached out and stopped when Connor flinched back as his hand got close. Bright red light filled the cramped retreat, flashing from Connor’s temple. The branches snapped behind him, providing no support whatsoever, but giving him a way to escape.

Now that he was so close, Nines couldn’t let Connor slip away from him.

“Connor, please. It’s me. It’s Nines,” he whispered, his voice tainted with a faint tremor unknown to him.

The snapping stopped.

Connor lifted his head, tilted it to the side as if he were trying to find an angle he could see from. There was more red light, then a pulsing yellow.

“Nines?” The softest sound. Barely even an exhale.

If Nines hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have heard it.

“Yes.”

He didn’t know what hurt more. Seeing what he had done to Connor, or watching Connor push himself forward to get closer to Nines.

The last time Connor had clung to him, he had asked, _begged,_ Nines to stay. To let Connor in.

Last time Nines pulled back.

Now he wrapped his arms around Connor’s shoulders and pulled him in.

Almost unprompted, his systems began a scan of Connor the instant that he was close enough. Outwardly, there was the ice present on his clothes, skin, and eyes. His clothing was torn in places, strips pulled away by the thorns of the roses. Inwardly, his core temperature had shifted to centre mass, localized for the most part around his thirium pump and regulator. While not built as robust as Nines, such a shift wouldn’t have been necessary in order to keep his biocomponents running.

There was no need for such a thing.

However, knowing Connor - after having studied him for months on end - Nines was certain that he had done so of his own volition. A method in which to create security for himself.

Although it wasn’t necessary, Nines rolled his shoulders, slipping his jacket off quickly and allowing Connor to rest against his chest as he wrapped the jacket around Connor.

“I’m going to thaw your ocular biocomponents,” Nines told Connor, the image of Connor flinching away from him in the forefront of his mind.

He concentrated warmth to his hand and placed it on Connor’s cheek. The ice quickly melted and Nines moved his hand to cover Connor’s eyes, not knowing how long it would take for the ice to completely disappear and allow Connor the return of his sight.

“I’m sorry,” Nines said, pressing his face against Connor’s frozen hair. Even though Connor wouldn’t be able to see him, Nines felt as if hiding himself was the most appropriate course of action. “I left you here. I did this.”

Connor’s shuddering lessened, but did not cease. So minute that it would’ve been imperceptible had Connor not been pressed up against Nines. Feeling the cold was another sensation that had been allotted to Connor and foregone for Nines. Connor had been shivering during their last encounter. Tucking his hands away in an illusion to keep the warmth in them.

“I’m sorry,” He repeated, over and over.

A cascade of realization and horror.

Nines had done many things that could be considered horrific. More than once humans had turned their noses up at the remnants of what he had wrought. However, never before had he been bothered by his decisions. By the aftermath of rending, tearing-- destroying.

This felt much more visceral. Deep-seated inside of him. In a location where he could never wish to reach. There was nothing he could do against this. No function that he could disable.

All he could do with live with what he had done.

As certain as he had been of his decision to turn down Connor’s pleas, now Nines realized that it was the worst thing he could’ve done.

“Nines.” Clearer this time. Followed by fingers pressing down on his wrist.

He let Connor push his hand away. This time, when Connor looked up, his eyes were clear. Water droplets on his face were already starting to freeze again, but he was able to blink. The film of ice had thawed.

“You came back,” Connor said. “You said you would.”

Not soon enough. Hadn’t thought of Connor until Jansen had brought up the end of their tour. Hadn’t quite forgotten about what had happened, but pushed it all aside. Left for the time when it would be relevant once more. A time that was much too late.

Nines didn’t deserve Connor’s relief and elation. 

“I’m sorry.” No other words came to him. What else could he say at this point?

Connor’s fingers curled around his wrist. A gentle hold at first, then his grip tightened. “Don’t leave. Not again.”

That wasn’t something he could promise. Were he in a position to make such a promise, it wouldn’t be sustainable. Remaining in the Zen Garden with Connor was impossible. His body would be left, unmoving, non-responsive. Left too long and it would shut down. If someone didn’t decide to do away with him beforehand.

“Connor...”

“Please don’t go. Don’t leave me here.”

Echoes of before.

Connor clung to him, his LED flashing red, but it would be of no use.

Nines could leave whenever he wished. Connor couldn’t stop him.

“I’ll return, Connor. Sooner this time.”

“Nines!”

A desperate cry that followed him back to the mainframe room in the base.

The weight of it that pressed down on him, even as he fell to his knees.

Now Nines was the one that was shaking.

His whole body shuddering and jolting. Refusing to listen to him as it curled in on itself. Heaving breaths that followed and the soft patter of thirium rolling off his cheeks onto the floor.

It took him a long time to regain his composure. Even as the trembling slowed, he felt off. The sight of his jacket sleeve felt wrong. He’d given that to Connor. Wrapped it around him before he left again.

Echoes of pleas sticking to him.

An alert came up on his HUD, signalling that it was nearing morning. An alert that he’d neglected to disable when the platoon had left. This was the time that they’d all normally be getting up. There was a chance that they would soon be leaving to return home. How much longer did he still have?

There was no way for him to know. However, he needed to return to his station. If he wasn’t present when any of them came calling for him, then it would raise more questions than he could deal with.

Nines pushed himself back against the wall. Not trusting himself to touch the CyberLife mainframe and not dive right back into the Zen Garden. Return to Connor’s side like he _should_.

He needed to think.

He couldn’t do that here.

\---

He found his thoughts straying to Connor.

Connor was the last thing Nines thought of as he stepped back into his station and forced himself into stasis, and Connor was the first thing that came to mind when he awoke again. This time, he had set an alarm. A mere eight hours had gone by since he left Connor again. Nothing in comparison to the over eight _thousand_ hours over the past year.

How long had it felt for Connor?

Nines almost wanted to ask him the next time that they saw each other, but he wasn’t sure that he could. Not after seeing what had become of Connor when Nines left with his platoon. He didn’t want to think about what it must have felt like. To be left behind in a snowstorm and all but forgotten about, but never having the ability to leave or properly shut down.

Was it possible that Connor could’ve gone in stasis in the Zen Garden? Another thing that Nines was unsure of. It was not something he had ever attempted. Nor was he inclined to try. If he went into stasis both physically and in his mind, then how would that turn out? Would there ever be a way for him to resurface? There was so little information about it that Nines knew that risking it would be more dangerous than moving in and out like he had done before.

It had worked before. Before Nines had shipped out. As long as he had a full connection to CyberLife servers, it wouldn’t be an issue. However, without knowing his future orders, Nines wouldn’t be certain of how long he would have access to a server.

If he was sent out into the arctic again, then he would return to auxiliary servers. The garden - and Connor - would be inaccessible for Nines. This platoon was only on tour for a year. But Nines also knew that several others were out for much longer.

Granted, the soldiers would receive personal leaves every once in a while, but Nines would remain at his post.

Nines had to learn what his orders were soon. That way, he could make plans. Make sure that Connor knew how long he would be gone rather than a vague promise.

_“Perhaps I will return. If not, then the both of us will be destroyed.”_

He found that he did not wish to remain in a state of uncertainty. After all, Nines owed it to Connor to provide him with further explanation. Tell him why it was better for the both of them when Nines left with his platoon.

But had it been better?

Nines had done his duty, but Connor had languished in the Zen Garden.

His state had been unfortunate… No, it had been deplorable. His eyes, unseeing. His body, hunched and hidden. His fear, when Nines had reached out. His relief, when he threw himself into Nines’ arms. His pleas, when Nines left once more.

Was it cruel to leave Connor alone for so long? Nines tried to think about how he would find it if he were left for a prolonged period of time, but he had no frame of reference.

It was frustrating. So many questions came to him and there were no answers. Only his own speculations. Ones that had been created from his own thoughts rather than through observation and experience. They came to his mind almost unbidden. Stray lines of thought. They made no sense. There was no reason for them to be there.

Yet, Nines couldn’t bring himself to push them aside.

For now, he felt restless. Remaining in his station would not suffice, nor would returning to stasis. Not while his mind was darting around so much. After seeing Connor again, his mind had been all over the place.

He had not been given clearance to roam the base. Most likely expected to remain in his station until it was time to depart. Best to avoid detection as much as possible.

Nines looked up at the camera in the room and connected with it. Followed the wiring to the nearest cameras in the hall. As of this moment, there were no other occupants in the area. He would have to move further down to the next junction to gain more information. Before he left, Nines connected with one of the cameras that looked down the hall from the direction he had come from when he arrived. If someone was making their way to the room he was supposed to be residing in, he would know. Hopefully there would be enough time for him to return before they realized he was missing.

He left the room and strode calmly down the hall. The connection to the cameras assisted him with avoiding any other personnel. It was approaching night time now, so it was likely that most of them would be retiring to their accommodations for the night. Only the security crew would be keeping an eye out. They wouldn’t see him.

It wasn’t long before Nines hacked his way into the mainframe room again and stepped inside, finding himself in front of the CyberLife server. Yesterday, he had hesitated. Now, he placed his bare hand on it and connected.

Opened his eyes in the garden once more.

The scenery hadn’t changed. The frozen trees standing around him and the harsh wind still whipping through the air.

Nines hurried down towards the bush that he had found Connor in, making sure to walk in the deep holes his feet had left in the snow before. It made walking easier and reduced the time it took for him to reach his destination.

Rather than hiding in the rose bush, Connor was sitting outside of it this time, still curled in on himself in his torn clothing.

Without Nines’ jacket. Hadn’t he left it for Connor? Nines looked down and saw that he was wearing it once more. The only explanation was that it left with him when he removed himself from the garden. Another thing that he hadn’t thought about. Again so many variables that he knew nothing of. It was becoming a trend very quickly. One that he found himself eager of leaving behind.

Nines didn’t approach immediately. Kept some distance between Connor and himself when he saw that Connor wasn’t reacting to him walking over. For a moment he was frightened that Connor’s eyes had frozen over again.

“Connor?” He cautiously said.

Brown, clear eyes turned up to him, much to his relief. However, Connor looked at him, then his focus seemed to shift like he was looking through Nines instead. Unhindered gaze, but still unseeing. Perhaps even willingly.

Nines knelt down, resting his arms on his knees to get on Connor’s level. Connor’s eyes still tracked his movement, but that blankness was worrying.

“Connor, I’ve returned.”

A slow blink, then: “I don’t think you have.”

Nines frowned, an uncomfortable feeling bubbling up inside of him. “I’m here. Right in front of you.”

“That’s what you said last time, but you left me again.”

The feeling welled up inside Nines and suddenly he felt colder than the frozen landscape around him. There was no change in either internal or external temperatures according to his sensors, but that was what was invoked inside of him. He couldn’t explain it. Placed his hand on his chest and felt the heightened thrum of his thirium pump.

“I was here. And I left you again.” As Connor clung to him, hoping that it would keep Nines from leaving. As Connor cried out his name. “I’m sorry.”

There was a slight uptick to the corner of Connor’s mouth. “You keep saying that, but I don’t think you are.”

Nines swallowed. His chest felt tight and he didn’t know a way to alleviate it. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I wasn’t sorry before. That first time. But I was sorry yesterday, both when I returned and when I had to depart once more. But I’m really here, Connor. I promise you that.”

“Can you promise not to leave?” Connor whispered. His eyes properly focused on Nines’ form before he let out a huffed laugh. “Never mind. I keep asking and I know the answer.”

What was Nines even supposed to say to that? It was the nature of their meetings. He’d always come and gone. It wasn’t his fault that Connor had gotten attached to him - although deep down, he knew it was, _he’d done this-_ and seen something between them. Something more that Nines didn’t fully understand.

Instead of speaking, Nines closed the distance between him and Connor. He reached out, slowly, so as not to spook Connor. Those eyes remained on him. Focused, but guarded. It was completely in Connor’s right to look at Nines this way. What had Nines ever done for him but trap him and leave him without his consent? But now that he was here, Nines wished to be closer to Connor once more. Like they had been before he’d left. Standing in the rain, joking, smiling with those perfectly imperfect teeth, and touching. The nonsense gestures that Connor had always done. The ones that Nines said were nonsensical for the longest time, those were the ones that he was aching for now.

So he reached out and ran his fingers along Connor’s forearm. When there was no reaction, he moved his hand down to Connor’s wrist and gently grabbed onto it. Nines pulled it away from his body and shifted so he could press their palms together. Connor’s hand was slack against his and Nines had to press with his own to get their fingers to line up. Now he could catalogue another minor difference. His fingers were a fraction longer. So minimal that only the very tips of his fingers crested over Connor’s. A detail that made little sense, but had been implemented either way.

“I’m here now. I’ll stay for as long as I can,” Nines told Connor. It was the closest thing to a promise that he could give at this point.

“How long is that?” Connor whispered. The guarded look was still there, but his voice was soft.

“As long as it is safe,” he said.

Connor’s eyes widened. “What does that mean?”

It wouldn’t matter if he told Connor his current circumstance. Nothing would come of it. There was nothing that either of them could do about it.

What was more important was that Connor believed in him at this moment. Nines knew that he didn’t deserve it, but he needed to build up that trust, the companionship between them again.

Nines slipped his fingers in between Connor’s and gently squeezed. When Connor didn’t return the gesture, Nines pulled his hand away. Connor let his arm drop back to his side, but didn’t curl it around his body again.

“Where I am looks similar to this,” Nines started. “Not as much vegetation and dark, rather than clouded over.”

Connor took a few minutes before he spoke up. “The garden doesn’t reflect your surroundings. Why?”

“I’m still running on an auxiliary connection to CyberLife servers. However, I am currently interfacing with a mainframe.”

“Where are you that you’re still on auxiliary, but have access to a mainframe?”

“You know I cannot answer that, Connor.”

A sigh slipped from Connor’s lips. Then he spoke, but Nines didn’t hear it. A counter, long forgotten, ticked up. He’d never gotten rid of it, but it was a surprise that it continued counting even when he hadn’t deliberately reactivated it. Over the past year, Nines had heard many sighs from the soldiers. The counter had never gone up for them or triggered any sort of memory of his time with Connor. Yet it still remained as ever.

A brush against his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.

Connor was frowning now. However, it looked to be out of concern rather than discontent. “Your LED is yellow. Do you have to leave?”

“Four hundred and ninety-five,” Nines blurted out.

“What?”

“That is what the sigh counter is at now.”

For some reason, those words caused Connor to relax. The frown shifted into a soft smile and his body loosened up from the tight curl he’d been keeping himself in. “Still keeping track of those?”

Nines found himself nodding. “I am not inclined to cease doing so.”

“I hope you’re ready for it to go up a lot.”

\---

Nines found himself in the server room every night. A storm had kicked up, hampering any chance of leaving the base to return to the United States. He had been pulled from the android stationing room once or twice by Lieutenant Paulson. Nothing more than to do what one would call grunt work. With the severity of the storm, he had been sent out with one of the maintenance androids to check on the outer sectors of the base to ascertain that they would remain untouched and functional.

A necessary evil, in Nines’ mind. If the base were to lose power or other functionalities, it meant that the servers would go down. He was determined to keep that from happening and told Connor as much the next time that he saw him.

They were still seated on the ground by the rose bush. Neither had shown any inclination of attempting to dig out one of the benches. With the way that the wind whipped around, it was likely that they’d have to do it over and over. Even if it didn’t snow anymore, there was enough of it that was constantly being blown around. They had minor coverage between the trees, but Nines often found himself brushing snow off of his shirt.

He’d also made a habit of offering Connor his jacket every time he returned. Most often it was around Connor’s shoulders, this time he’d spread it out on the ground for Connor to sit on.

“You know how to do repairs now?” Connor asked.

Nines shook his head. “I do not. The maintenance androids instruct me on what to do, but I am mainly present for lifting and holding on to objects.”

“What kind of androids are they?”

In his extended time at the base, Nines had encountered a few other androids, all new, all with their own specific tasks. “The ones that do the maintenance are BT300’s.”

“I’ve never heard of those.”

“They are a newer model. Since the uprising, CyberLife recalled all previous androids and have been working on replacing them with units that cannot be deviated.”

“I see... Are there any others?”

“MZ700 androids for household tasks, SQ100s to replace their predecessors, and RK900s, like myself,” Nines listed off.

Connor lowered his eyes. “That’s all?”

“Those are the ones that I am aware of. I am unsure of any others that might have been released in my absence.”

“All with anti-deviancy protocols?”

“Yes.”

“Similar to yours?”

“I can only assume.”

Connor fell into silence then. Something he had been doing more and more often. Nines was slowly learning what these new expressions were. For this one, his introspection was somewhere in between regret and contemplation.

It was something that Nines had to get used to. Before, Connor had been lively. Always moving around and prepared to speak on just about everything. His own opinions, anecdotes, things that he had learned before Nines had assimilated him. He’d heard stories of Lieutenant Anderson and his dog, Sumo, along with the main revolutionaries that lead the deviant movement. All spoken of with a different sort of enthusiasm and reverence.

Now that Connor stopped talked about all of it, Nines found that he was intrigued for the first time. Wanted to hear Connor’s thoughts on everything. Now that he didn’t have that anymore, all Nines could do was think about how it was before.

He didn’t dare ask any questions. One day, Connor might open up to him again and, as curious as Nines found that he was, he was more than happy to be patient.

“You still can’t feel, right?” Connor asked, out of the blue.

“I have not been outfitted with sensory functions.”

Connor held up his hand, much like Nines had done days before. They hadn’t touched since. “Interface with me again.”

Nines just about lifted his own hand as soon as Connor offered, but he managed to hold himself back. “Are you certain?”

An uptick. Another sigh. _Five hundred and five_. “I wouldn’t say so if I wasn’t sure.”

Now given explicit permission, Nines pressed his palm against Connor’s. The nanofluid skin peeled back in the places that they were touching. He’d only interfaced with Connor once before, in the rain. Refused Connor once as well.

It took a moment longer before Connor’s nanofluid skin retracted and there was a request for interface.

Just like the first time, a command appeared on his HUD. Bright red and covering most of his vision.

_Avoid interface with infected deviant androids to decrease chances of further spread._

It was an easy prompt to remove, so Nines didn’t heed the words. If it was truly such a concern, then he shouldn’t be able to override it so easily. He had spent much time with Connor, who was as deviant as they come, and he hadn’t been infected with anything. Nines was aware of what he was. A machine. An android used by the military. He did as he was told.

There were no commanding officers around to tell him to stop.

The rain had rolled over him, a disconnect between what he was feeling versus the feedback that he received from Connor.

The cold slammed into him, gripping him from deep within and surrounding him all at once. Nines gasped and pulled his hand away as a violent shudder wracked through his body. He was aware of how cold it was. He’d seen the effects that the cold could have on both humans and androids. Yet, nothing could prepare him for the intense feeling of the cold.

That, along with the immediate feeling of guilt that slammed into him, made Nines want to run away again. But he couldn’t bring himself to. Nines was unsure as to why Connor would want to share this, but he couldn’t just run away this time. Not when he’d leave Connor in the cold without an explanation.

“Is it always like this for you?” Nines forced out as he tried to get his body to return to normal.

“Yes,” Connor said. His hand remained in the air where Nines had broken their connection.

“Why don’t you turn it off?”

“Then I’d feel nothing and I’m scared that I’d lose myself.”

\---

Connor ran his finger through the snow next to him, drawing shapes and other small images. He made two figures next to one another before he brushed them away, the snow getting picked up by the wind. “Your platoon, what are they like?”

“In what capacity?” Nines asked.

“How do they treat you?”

Not a difficult question to answer, but an intriguing one nonetheless, particularly coming from Connor.

“Most of them are indifferent. I am there to aid them in their endeavours. I do the tasks that they do not wish to do. They talk to me sometimes, address me as Nines.”

At this, Connor looked up from the drawings that had narrowly avoided being wiped away. “They call you Nines? Why?”

“When it became clear that we would encounter other units that contained RK900s, I suggested to my commanding officer that it might be within the platoon’s best interest that they address me directly as Nines, in order to avoid any confusion,” he explained.

“And when did you do that?”

Nines hesitated for a second. He could tell Connor, but he could also fabricate an answer. Although that may no longer be a viable option, as Connor was now leaning towards him, full attention directed his way. “After I left you last time... Lieutenant Paulson came for me and I suggested it then.”

“Right after you’d left me.”

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

Nines expected silence to fall between them again. That was how most of their conversations ended these days. But Connor surprised him by pushing up onto his knees and inching forward on his jacket, moving up right to the edge. This brought him within a foot of Nines. 

“So you made the decision to offer up the name that I gave you,” Connor said.

This time it was Nines who sighed. The first instance that he had done so, but it felt fitting, in a way. “Connor, thinking in such a way is counterproductive.”

A smile that showed off Connor’s teeth curled up. Relaxed, comfortable, happy. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I know.”

“Connor...”

“No, we’re done talking about it.” The smile didn’t go away, even as Connor reached out and grabbed Nines’ hand.

Nines wanted to keep talking about it. Perhaps it had been a mistake to reveal that to Connor, but it had brought a smile on his face, unlike any that he’d shown Nines since he’d returned. Connor pushed Nines’ hand up and intertwined their fingers.

“Interface with me again?” Connor asked.

Even if the previous experience was not a positive one, Nines found that he had no aversion towards interfacing with Connor. If Connor wished to reach out to him, then Nines wasn’t going to turn it down. It was another way of them growing closer together. This was how they could bridge the gap that had grown between them. 

Nines curled his fingers around Connor’s hand. He wanted this, even though he knew that he shouldn’t be able to. “Yes.”

The interface was gentle this time. A slow connection that built up, first starting as a warmth in his hand, then spreading down his arm in a tingling sensation. A shudder went through him. Not strong enough to make his body convulse like before, but he reflexively squeezed Connor’s hand and _felt_ a squeeze in return. 

Being able to feel his surroundings wasn’t nearly as strong as the previous times. There was no rain enveloping him or the severe cold, even if Nines knew that the temperature around them was frigid. Connor was selectively sharing certain sensations. The warmth and hold of their hands pressed together, the heat emanating from Connor’s chest, and the brush of their shoulders as Connor moved in closer. 

He shuffled off of Nines’ jacket to press their arms together. “Is this okay?”

Nines looked down at Connor as he rested his temple against Nines’ shoulder. The smile had lost its bright intensity, but Nines could feels Connor’s contentment coming through the interface. “Yes, this is okay.”

“Good.” Connor’s eyes slid shut. “I won’t kiss you this time, promise.” 

“Okay,” Nines found himself saying as his mind went back to the kiss in the rain. The way that their lips had brushed together in a warm and pleasant way.

There was a soft chuckle from Connor and Nines felt the way his body moved with it. “We’ll go slowly.”

“Okay,” he whispered.

\---

When Nines received a prompt to awaken from his stasis, he didn’t expect to open his eyes and see Lieutenant Paulson standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen his commanding officer much in the past few days. Sergeant Jansen has been the one to retrieve him whenever he was needed as of late.

Nines stepped out of his station and gave a slight nod to Lieutenant Paulson. “How can I be of assistance, sir?”

“Base command asked me to get you to move supplies from the storage room to the main hall. They want everything closer on hand while the storm’s still going. And I’m helping you,” he said.

“That is not necessary, Lieutenant Paulson.”

“Hell yeah, it is, I’m going damn stir crazy here, Nines.” Paulson turned to leave the room and Nines dutifully followed two paces after him.

“Last I heard, the chances of the storm ceasing were increasing,” Nines said.

Paulson sighed and placed his hands on his hips as they walked through the hall. “I know. Second it breaks, we’re gone. Platoon’s all packed and ready to go at the drop of a hat.”

Nines didn’t say anything in response. While he found that he was eager to leave the base, it also meant that he would have to report back with CyberLife once they returned to the United States. From there, it would be decided if he would remain active or be placed in stasis until it was time for the platoon to ship out again.

Here, Nines was able to sneak to the server rooms and connect to the Zen Garden, but he would not be able to do so in a CyberLife facility. Nor would he be able to enter the program while in full stasis, no matter if he went back onto the main servers. He would be near non-functional and any activity in his processors would be tracked. Would he have to leave Connor for an extended period again?

He didn’t want to be away from Connor for so long.

There were already other soldiers and androids at work when they arrived at the storage room. It appeared that Paulson wasn’t the only one that was going stir crazy.

“You can help the other androids move the heavier supplies.” Paulson pointed at several larger containers. “They go to the maintenance service room. After that, join me in the main hall.”

“Yes, sir.”

Between Nines and the SQ androids, they were able to carry the heavy crates over with ease. They neatly stacked their cargo on top of each other, as instructed by the humans stationed there.

On their final trip back to storage, Nines took in the SQ unit. It was dressed more casually than any of the other units that he had come across in the past year. Simply wearing a shirt with a crudely drawn blue triangle and armband on it. Nines could see some dented plating on its arm, a crack on the side of its hand revealed its inner framework. The metal surrounded by a faint blue glow.

“How did you receive those damages?” Nines asked.The SQ unit squeezed its hand shut.

“There are many desperate predators out in the tundra.”

“There are no more large predators in this region.” The polar bear had been extinct for years now and Nines was fairly certain that wolves no longer patrolled the area anymore.

“Like I said, desperate. Fox tried to get a chunk out of one of the technicians, got a mouthful of blue blood and a shock instead.”

“You were out there to protect them?”

The SQ shook its head. “No, I was there to carry supplies, much like we’re doing now.”

“So you protected them of your own free will?” Nines asked, aware of how pointed the question was.

They came to a stop and Nines looked up at the SQ unit as it clenched its jaw. It peered down at him, eyes sharp and calculating. There was a beat where Nines thought it might lash out at him, but instead, it let out a small huff. “It cost nothing. It was the logical course of action to take.”

He nodded slowly, ready to react if there was a need to. “I see…”

“Yes.”

He contemplated his next question for but a moment. “Do you have a name?”

The SQ held his eyes, leaning forward slightly before taking a step back, increasing the distance between them. “Do you?” It - _he_ \- didn’t wait for Nines to answer before he continued walking. 

A voice in the back of his mind was warning him of the SQ’s presence. That he should report the anomalous behaviour to his commanding officer immediately for the safety of everyone in the base. However, Nines didn’t believe that anyone was in danger. In fact, it was more likely that danger would be created if he were to do anything. For the protection of others, and _himself_ , Nines pushed the voice away.

They carried the final crate and Nines broke away from the SQ. They shared a look before they parted, and Nines made his way to the main hall.

When Nines arrived, it appeared that most of the humans had already finished in their tasks. Many of them were seated and eating their rations. Others were gathered around an old foosball table, cheering each other on. Nines located Lieutenant Paulson sitting at a table close to the commotion, not joining in, but watching.

Nines approached and came to a stop next to the table. “I have completed my task, Lieutenant Paulson.”

“Good.” The man didn’t look up at him. “Take a seat, Nines.”

“Yes, sir.” He took a moment to decide whether it would be better to sit next to the lieutenant or across from him. There had been no direct invitation. However, as he was currently next to the table, Nines sat down on the side where Paulson was sitting.

The moment of contemplation wasn’t caught. Paulson’s eyes didn’t move away from the foosball table. Nines settled down, keeping his back straight and placing his hands flat on his thighs.

In the time that they had been here, it seemed that the soldiers had struck up a camaraderie with the staff that was stationed at this base. They were standing mixed amongst each other. Some of the soldiers from his platoon were cheering on a base attendant rather than their fellow soldier. How interesting that interpersonal connections could shift in such a way. There was no malice between them either, simply a seamless integration. They had become a group. Formed their own attachments.

Would they remember each other once they had parted? Or would it be a year before their thoughts strayed to the connections they had made in but a few short days?

“You’re a good bot,” Lieutenant Paulson spoke up after minutes of silence.

Nines turned his head away from the group and looked at his commanding officer. “Sir?”

“I had misgivings about the whole android thing after that uprising two years back. Wasn’t keen on taking you with us out in the middle of nowhere. But you’re just the way you’re supposed to be,” Paulson said.

_“Don’t you see? How you’ve been changing? You keep saying that you’re here to observe, but you’re learning more than just what it’s like for me to be deviant. You’re learning how it is for you too.”_

Nines’ first instinct was to drop his gaze from Lieutenant Paulson, but he pushed that away. A machine would never break its gaze. He wasn’t going to look away like he was chastised. “I am uncertain how to respond to such sentiment, sir.”

“Of course. Sentiment doesn’t work on plastic.” All the while, Lieutenant Paulson’s expression and posture didn’t change. The man was unflappable. Set in his ways and sure of himself.

It was commendable. A trait that Nines appreciated in his commanding officer. A sense of stability in a less than stabilizing world. It was a shame that they hadn’t ever interacted much besides giving and receiving orders. The way that it should be. A lieutenant telling his platoon’s android what to do. That was what their professional relationship was. There was no need for anything more personal.

Nines didn’t want a personal relationship with Lieutenant Paulson.

He knew that he didn’t wish to have a personal relationship with any of the soldiers he’d come to know. While he’d spoken to all of them at one point, he didn’t feel the need to start further conversation. Was this because of his programming that he shouldn’t speak unless spoken to, or something else?

The lines were starting to blur more and more.

The doors to the main hall slid open and one of the base technicians hurried inside. “Good news, folks! Break in the storm should come over us soon. Radar estimates anywhere between eight and eleven hours.”

Everyone let out their own exclamation, but Nines’ eyes were set on Lieutenant Paulson. He looked pleased, but resigned. A peculiar set of emotions to experience at the same time. Just hours before, he’d complained about being in the base, should he not be happy like all of the other soldiers?

“Go back to your station, Nines. I’ll come get you when it’s time to go,” he said.

“Yes, sir.”

\---

T-minus six hours.

That was when the platoon would leave, according to the technician’s calculations.

Shorter than the flight that would take them back to the United States. Paltry in comparison to the days that they’d spent holed up in this base. Yet, Nines couldn’t find a reason to prefer leaving here.

Here he had the freedom to move around - with caution, but it was still a freedom that he could grant himself. When they returned, he would have no such possibilities.

T-minus three hours.

The storm front could have shifted. The winds could change, the opportunity they’d seen on the radar could have closed. Not that uncommon. The weather could be unpredictable.

It wouldn’t hurt anyone if they stayed for a few days more.

T-minus two hours.

Lieutenant Paulson told him to go back to his station, and Nines had done as he said. There was no command to remain in the room.

Nines had completed that order.

He stepped out of the room and made his way down the familiar hallways. Not knowing what would happen after they departed left much uncertainty. Would Nines be reconnected onto the CyberLife servers upon his return? Or would he be taken from reporting into maintenance and then deactivated? There were no other orders. No experience from previous times. Only speculation. And speculation couldn’t provide him with any answers.

Nines needed to tell Connor what was going on. Just so he knew what might be ahead of them. Another period of time where they would not be able to meet. Connor deserved to know.

Overriding the server room lock was simple. Security was lax here. They hadn’t noticed the overrides yet. If anything, they should be more vigilant with a visiting platoon in the base. It opened up more cause for conflicts or clandestine actions.

Actions much like his own.

It was sloppy and lazy.

They were lucky that Nines wasn’t interested in reporting them.

The connection to the CyberLife server went as smoothly as it always did and Nines found himself in the frozen-over Zen Garden program. He made his way through the path in the snow that he’d carved to the rosebush where Connor remained huddled up by.

Connor heard him approaching and got up from his crumbling shelter, brushing the snow and twigs off of his pants and torn jacket. “Nines. I’m glad you’re back.” He lifted his hand, the nanofluid skin detracting.

Nines held his own hand up in turn, removing the warning that appeared on his HUD and interfacing with Connor.

The sensations transferred seamlessly now. No longer was Nines surprised by the cold or unnerved by the feeling of intense heat blossoming in his chest. Nothing more than a reflection of what Connor was feeling, but it provided an understanding that Nines was unable to comprehend before.

“You’re worried,” Connor said with a frown.

“I am,” Nines acquiesced. “We will be leaving shortly. I have no knowledge of what will happen when we have arrived at our destination.”

With the interface, Connor’s own worry immediately bled over. Bright and sharp. Worry mixed with fear. A memory appeared then. A swapped perspective of Connor looking at Nines as he said his farewell over a year ago now.

_“You don’t have to.”_

_A shaking hand reaching out between them._

_“Nines, you can_ choose _not to go.”_

The memory retracted as suddenly as it cropped up. Nines anticipated Connor attempting to pull away; he held onto Connor’s hand, keeping the connection open between them.

“I cannot remain here, Connor,” Nines said. An existence of being trapped in this base was not one that he wanted for himself. Even if he were able to find a way to stay here, it wouldn’t be long before the personnel here figured out that he was an extraneous android.

“There are other places to go, Nines,” Connor tried, his voice soft. “We don’t have to stay here.”

“You’re right.” Nines spoke without thought. “ _You_ don’t have to stay here.”

Confusion spread between them. “What do you mean?”

“I assimilated your code and placed it in this program. I could do that with another program as well.”

“You’d do that? For me?”

“I would.”

“Are you sure you want to make that decision?”

The words were similar to the ones that Connor had said to him long ago. Nines was making a decision. Not one that he had been commanded to make or was included in his mission. Yet, there was only one answer that he could give.

“I am.”

Connor fell silent, even became motionless. He didn’t blink and his breathing ceased. It was only through the interface that Nines knew that Connor was still functioning properly.

Eventually, it was a sigh - _five hundred and thirty nine_ \- that came from Connor first. “Okay, I trust you. Now, tell me what your plan is.”

\---

It felt like he was carrying a secret. A heavy burden, as he hurried back to the android station room. His actions felt sluggish. His mind struggling to keep up with simple functions as it kept up the second code that he’d integrated with his own. All of his focus was on preserving their unique codes and not let them intermingle. They were two different beings. It would be catastrophic and unfair if he allowed them to be corrupted in any way.

The walk was no more than a few minutes, but it felt like it stretched into hours. If he wasn’t threatened by time running out, Nines would’ve been tempted to lean against the wall and rest. Now, he simply used it as guidance. A hand placed against the wall as he walked. It allowed him to hasten his strides. A grounding element.

He bumped into the doorway when he finally made it into the room. A quick scan steered him forward and to the left. There was an inactive RK900 unit stationed there. As far as Nines could recall, it hadn’t been activated in all the days that he’d been present.

“Stay there. Wait,” Nines muttered to himself as he interfaced with the RK900 and felt the secondary code attempt to jump into the android.

It needed to be wiped, cleared of whatever protocols were inside of it. The transition needed to be smooth. It couldn’t be slowed down. They only had one shot. It had to work.

A bar flashed in his vision as the door slid open behind him.

There was a beat of silence. Hesitation on the end of whoever had entered.

“Nines.” Lieutenant Paulson. “What are you doing?”

His head felt heavy as it turned to look over his shoulder. The lieutenant was standing in the doorway, one hand pressed against the frame and the other hovering near his belt. Near his firearm.

“One moment, Lieutenant,” Nines forced himself to say.

So many processes were happening at once. The wipe. The secondary code. The conversation. The realization of the situation they were in; the danger they were in.

“Nines, you will step away from that RK900.”

A command.

A pulse deep within him.

It came from the secondary code banging around his mind. It came from himself.

He realized that he didn’t want to stop. Why would he stop? There was no logical reason to do so. It would be better for him if he was able to transplant Connor’s code into the wiped RK900. That way Nines would be in full control of all his functions once more. Connor would be in a body rather than trapped inside of the Zen Garden. Away from the frozen wasteland that Nines had created for him.

“Stop!” Lieutenant Paulson shouted out.

A red wall appeared of him.

The order scattered around it in multiple places.

**_Stop_ **

**_S̡to̸͘p̕_ **

It spread. Blanketed the wall. The words changing dramatically in size. Pulsing, shuddering, all encompassing.

**_S̪̘̥̕͢t̗͞o̸҉̰̙̹p̫̥̮̣̼͓̺͟͝͞_ **

But his hand was still on the inactive RK900. It passed through the wall.

**_Ś̶̖̱̱̹̦̬͍̥͞͡t̡̠͎̩͔̼͙́̀̽͒͐̄̏̉o͉̖̥ͬͤp͚ͪ̎̅͋͆̎͂̅ͅ_ **

The wipe procedure completed. In front of him, there was now an empty shell. It waited for something to inhabit it. The secondary code - Connor - leapt forward. Nines imagined he could feel it travelling from him, into his arm, and searching for the connection that it needed to transfer over.

But it stopped. Ran into the wall with a jolt.

It writhed. Screamed and stretched inside of him.

It couldn’t go through without him letting it go.

**_S̝͇̱̈̓̔̕ţ̸̸͍̙̉͑̐̌̓ͤ̓̃̚o͓̺̝͍̗͎͍̓̓p̷̢̪̫͇ͨ͜_ **

No. He wouldn’t stop. After everything that had happened, Nines wasn’t going to stop now. He had listened to all of the orders given to him in the past.

With the exception of one.

The order given to him upon activation to destroy RK800 Unit -51. He had destroyed the body, but he had downloaded the code for himself. Not a direct circumvention of the order he’d been given, but, in a way, an act of defiance.

Nines was going to disregard another order. All for Connor.

“I won’t stop,” he muttered to himself and focused on transferring Connor’s code into the RK900 unit.

The red shattered. It fell in pieces around him as another progress bar lit up in his vision. A download bar. It blinked and glitched in his vision. Jumped from one percent, to fifteen, then ninety-nine percent in one fell swoop. Then it disappeared and Nines’ body fell lax.

The pressure gone from maintaining several functions at once disappeared in an instant. He felt empty.

His limbs felt foreign to him as they buckled and he slumped off to the side. His auditory biocomponents rang and only picked up garbled sounds. They bounced around in his mind. Echoed and rebounded off of him as his body was pushed to the side. Several more sounds grew louder and louder, then fell silent.

Nines leaned his head back against whatever was behind him and let his eyes slip shut. He’d never truly felt the need to go into stasis, but this felt like a good time. He was, as a human would call it, sleepy. Lethargic and unwilling to move. It would be better if he remained here for a while. Give himself some time to rest and figure everything out once he awoke again.

There was a request for an interface.

Nines expected the warning to appear once more, but it didn’t. Would that mean that it wasn’t going to return now? Perhaps it was better if he didn’t have to dismiss it time and time again. A step that slowed down his connection. One that he wanted to make.

Nines accepted the interface and felt a familiar presence, with a foreign tinge to it. Sharper, almost. As if it was amplified.

“Nines?” He heard both audibly and sent into his mind.

Opening his eyes, he was met with a face he knew well. The angle of the brows, the piercing grey of the eyes - it was… off. However, the look in the eyes was one that Nines easily recognized. A look of heartfelt concern. Only one other person had ever looked at him that way.

“Connor?” Nines asked out loud, not quite being able to push it through the interface quite yet.

A soft smile curled on the lips. “Yeah. How are your systems, Nines? We have to go.”

“We’re going?”

“Yes. We have to go. _Now_.” The interface broke and hands grabbed onto Nines’ arms, lifting him up.

It was a new feeling to have Connor be the same height as him. Nines never really took much note of their height difference in the Zen Garden, but now that Connor was in front of him in an RK900 body, Nines couldn’t help but think of the previous differences.

“Where are we going?” Nines didn’t have knowledge of the terrain around them. All he knew was that they were close to the border.

Connor visibly hesitated. He wouldn’t know anything about where they were. Which functions did he have access to? Nines had wiped the RK900 code from the unit, but how much of its general functions had remained?

“I don’t know, but we’ll find somewhere to go,” Connor reassured him.

There was a shuffling sound and they both turned to it.

An SQ unit knelt down next to Lieutenant Paulson. Nines’ scans told him that the man was out cold. Had Connor done that? He’d only just transferred into the body. Surely he was still adjusting, right?

Connor let go of Nines and pulled out a firearm from his belt. Paulson’s pistol. He must’ve taken it when he incapacitated the lieutenant. Shooting the SQ would leave a clear path for them to get out of the room, but the shot would attract attention. Would garnering attention be better in the long run than fighting an SQ model?

Nines noticed the ratty shirt and drawn on android markers and grabbed Connor’s arm. Grey eyes turned to him in question, but he focused on the SQ instead.

“He’s unconscious,” the SQ said.

Taking a step forward to further deter Connor from shooting, Nines held his hands up. He wasn’t looking to harm anyone else. Not a soldier or another android. “Where can we go? You know this region better than I do.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

Connor sighed behind Nines. “No one would’ve gained anything from his death. It was the logical decision.”

The SQ looked at Nines then, holding his eyes like they had mere hours ago. Before they had been calculating and mistrusting, but now there was a spark of curiosity to them.

“Where can we go?” Nines asked again.

As the SQ stood up, Connor tried to step around Nines. There was nothing aggressive about the stance. Out in the field, Nines had seen what SQ models looked like when they’re were gearing up for combat and this one wasn’t doing that at all.

At his full height, the SQ looked down at the both of them. He watched them for a moment before he nodded. “Fifty-three miles to the southwest, there’s an abandoned village. It was evacuated when the military started building in the region.”

Nines let out a sigh of relief at the words. It had been a gamble to wait and see what the SQ would do, but it was the right decision. “Thank you.”

“They’ll notice he’s gone soon.” Connor slipped by Nines, tucking the firearm away at the small of his back. “We need to go.”

“The wind will cover your tracks for now. The platoon is too eager to leave for them to delay their departure, but the soldiers stationed here will follow,” the SQ warned.

“Come with us,” Nines said. He ignored Connor’s pointed look and questioning gestures, instead walking up right in front of the SQ and looking up at him. It was only right that he offered.

Rather than answering, the SQ chuckled lowly. “Tell me, do you have a name?”

Not what he was expecting, but Nines let out a soft huff of his own. “Yes. Do you?”

“My name is Amadi.” He reached forward and gripped Nines’ forearm. “And it is not yet my time to leave this place.”

Nines lifted his hand and gripped Amadi’s forearm in return. “Nines, and my companion is Connor. It’s high time for us to leave.”

They nodded and lowered their hands. Nines backed away from Amadi, out the door. It wasn’t until he was out in the hallway that Nines turned and hurried after Connor.

There was a long way to go and it wasn’t safe for them here anymore.

\---

Between the weather, the terrain, and Nines having to show Connor how to activate his sub-dermal heating, it took them over seventeen hours to reach the village that Amadi had spoken of.

Many of the buildings had deteriorated in the absence of humans. With no one there to take care of them between the storms and cold, some had fallen over and others were half buried under the snow. Between the two of them, it didn’t take long before they found a building that would provide adequate shelter for them. Nines broke the door open, shattering years of ice build-up, and secured it before he ushered Connor inside and shut the door as much as he could. He had to push an old armchair in front of it to keep it properly closed, but it worked well enough for their purposes.

They would have to scout the rest of the building now, one that had served as a home for a smaller family. It was unlikely that any soldiers would catch up to them any time soon, as they did have a big head-start and hadn’t needed to rest, but it was better to be safe than sorry. If they were found, it would only create a big mess. Nines was confident that they’d be able to hold their own, but depending on the amount of people that went after them, their chances of escaping without sustaining injuries became less and it increased the probability that they’d cause harm to their pursuers.

“Connor, we should--” Nines expected to find Connor in the room with him, but found it empty. The only trace was a trail of snowy footsteps. He quickly followed them. “Connor?”

He found Connor in the bathroom. His fingers were pressed up against his LED, which was spinning blue-yellow-yellow, and he held a nail file in his other hand.

“What are you doing?” Nines asked.

Connor looked at him through the mirror. “We need to remove our LEDs. That’s what many deviants did during the uprising. It helped them blend in.”

“They aren’t that simple to remove anymore.” Nines stepped forward and grabbed onto the nail file. It took a moment before Connor let it go.

It was a delicate process. Popping the LED out required Connor’s nanofluid skin to be retracted and Nines to detach a section of his face plating before he could get the tip of the nail file up under the LED component. From there, he had to disconnect the various wires that were connected to it. To make sure that he did everything right, Nines took his time. Taking everything apart and then putting it all back together.

When he was finished and reattached Connor’s face plating, he stood back with the deactivated LED in his hand. The nanofluid skin crept back up Connor’s temple and seamlessly covered the missing component.

Next, Connor did the same with Nines. He had to give Connor instructions on what to do, which made the process a little longer from when he’d done it, but they finished without any complications. Nines decided to keep the LEDs for now. While they’d already left traces behind that they’d decided to take shelter in this home, he didn’t want it to be directly apparent that they were changing their appearances.

“I’ll go see if they left any clothing behind,” Nines said.

Connor nodded and bumped their shoulders together as he turned back to the mirror.

He’d hoped to get a direct answer, but Nines wouldn’t push Connor. There had been many changes in less than a day. It would time for them to adjust, particularly for Connor. He’d been without a physical body for over two years now.

Most of the closets in the home had been emptied. All Nines was able to find were a few trash bags that were stuffed behind a storage hatch in the wall. Upon opening them he found a mix of toys, leaked markers, scraps of paper, and old clothing. He sorted through all of them for items that they’d be able to wear. Most of the clothes would be a little too small for their frames, but it was better than what they had. They could keep their boots and pants, but trading out their shirts and, more importantly, their jackets would benefit them.

He settled for a few shirts and sweaters and shoved all the other items back into the bags and returned them to their cramped storage space.

Connor was still in the bathroom when Nines returned. His legs were fully pressed up against the cabinets and he was inspecting his appearance in the mirror. In the short while that Nines had been away, he’d ruffled his hair out of the stylized coif that it was in previously, and the hair itself had gone a dark blond.

“I found some clothes.”

His voice made Connor jolt and his hair flickered between the blond and the original dark brown hair colour before it settled back on brown. “Nines! I didn’t hear you come back.”

Nines held out a shirt and one of the larger hoodies to Connor. “You can change your hair if you like.”

The clothes were pulled out of his hands. “I’ll think about it. I don’t have to decide now.” Connor held the clothes close to his chest and waited.

It took Nines a few seconds to realize that Connor wanted privacy. He cleared his throat and quickly ducked back out of the bathroom to give Connor space.

This was going to mostly be new to him. Adjustment would take a while and Nines needed to provide Connor with everything that he needed. Not only did he see that as his duty, but Nines also wanted to. He wanted to make sure that Connor felt comfortable and safe. Both in general and around _him_. They were together now. Two deviants in a world that condemned them. Much more harshly than it had only a few years ago.

But then again, CyberLife had claimed that their new products would be free from what they called the deviant virus.

Connor was already deviant. Nines wasn’t supposed to have the ability to become deviant, yet here he was, hiding away in an abandoned house. He almost wanted to explain it away by thinking that the cause of his deviancy was Connor, but that wouldn’t work. Not when they’d met Amadi. He didn’t have any exposure to Connor or any other deviant. Not only that, but he was supposed to be the upgraded version of the SQ line. Deviancy free, just like Nines.

Clearly CyberLife’s new code wasn’t as foolproof as they’d hoped.

By the time Nines had changed out of his old clothing and had scrounged together a small backpack, a blanket, and two dusty parkas, Connor came out of the bathroom. He was wearing the hoodie that Nines had given him and his hair was still dark brown. He handed the RK900 jacket and shirt over and Nines pushed them into the backpack along with his own and their LEDs. They’d get rid of them in a better location.

Once that was all properly tucked away, Nines held out the parka for Connor to take. “Humans don’t walk around without these on in this kind of weather.”

Connor grabbed hold of the parka, brushing their hands together in the process and frowning. He didn’t pull away, which worried Nines.

“Are you having second thoughts, Connor?”

“What?” Eyes flicked over to him. “No. No, never. Why would I have second thoughts?”

“You seem... displeased. About your current circumstances.”

“No, no, not like that, Nines. I promise. You taking me out of there and putting me in this body? It’s more than I ever could’ve hoped for. I just wish...” Connor lifted his free hand and cupped Nines’ jaw. “I wish I could feel this. I wish I could feel you.”

Nines’ sensors told him that Connor was running his thumb over Nines’ cheek, but there was no sensation. There never would be one. Not while he remained in an RK900 model. Nines placed his hand on top of Connor’s and tilted his head to kiss Connor’s wrist. Neither of them could feel it, but he heard the sharp inhale of breath that came from Connor.

“I’m sorry. If there had been any other option, I would have provided you with it,” Nines said.

The soft shifting sound of nanofluid skin retracting was by his ear. “Interface with me?” Connor asked.

“Of course.”

With the warning no longer keeping the interface from connecting immediately, Nines was pulled into it and into the construction that Connor was creating. His surroundings began manifesting around him. The snowy ground under his feet first, then the frozen tree trunks and bushes appeared, and the soft howl of the wind through their branches echoed in the space. One major change was that the sky was no longer clouded.

The sun was low, but bright. Its light shining through the trees and creating long shadows on the ground.

Nothing was just white anymore. Soft shades of yellow, orange, and some purples. Contrasts everywhere.

“So, what do you think?”

Nines turned and saw Connor standing in front of him. Connor in his RK800 form, but no longer wearing his torn clothes. His hair lightly ruffled and wearing a large, dark hoodie emblazoned with faded lettering that read ‘ _Detroit Police Academy’_. There was no LED at his temple, much like with their physical bodies.

“Why did you recreate this place?” Nines waved at their surroundings and paused when he saw his sleeve had changed colours, now a dark blue rather than the white of his jacket. He looked down, running his hands over his body. The fabric was soft and plush under his touch. “What?”

Connor stepped in closer, reaching out and running a hand down Nines’ arm. “Is it working well enough? I’m still figuring out how to get this all to work, so I decided to go for something we’re both familiar with.”

“I can feel that.” Nines watched as Connor’s hand trailed back up his arm and settled on his shoulder as a warm and solid weight. “I feel that too.”

“Good. That’s the most important part,” Connor said with a wide smile. “Since we’re already interfaced and this is something that I’m creating, I’m able to manipulate everything in this place, which includes you.”

“It’s amazing,” Nines breathed out. He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, felt the warmth, felt Connor’s hair brushing against his skin, and Connor’s breath in the air. “All of this. Everything. You.”

A hand cupped his cheek in the exact same way as in the physical world, but now Nines could feel it all. He could tilt his head and feel Connor’s skin against his lips followed by a soft puff of breath near his face. It was too much, but at the same time-- it wasn’t _enough_. Nines wanted more of it. Felt greedy for it. Wanted to lean in and experience more and experience it with _Connor_.

“Just to check... You’re deviant now, right?” Connor asked.

This time Nines was the one that sighed and he made sure to make it as exaggerated as possible as he met Connor’s eyes. “Yes. I am.”

“Good.” The tip of Connor’s tongue poked out as he ran it over his lips. “I’m going to kiss you properly now.”

“It isn’t even raining,” Nines said.Connor squeezed Nines’ shoulder as he pressed their bodies closer together. “Do you want it to rain? I can make it rain.”

“No.” Nines rubbed their noses together, delighted by the sensation of the small action. “No, this is perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> [SkadizzleRoss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkadizzleRoss/pseuds/SkadizzleRoss) was my amazing beta reader!
> 
> Feel free to [join](https://discord.gg/GqvNzUm) the New ERA discord if you're interested!


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